As part of an annual recognition of Women’s History Month in the State Capitol, Assemblymember Chris Holden announces Cher Ofstedahl as Claremont’s 2022 Woman of Distinction.
The 41st Assembly District’s Women of Distinction from throughout the district include Juanita West-Tillman (Altadena), Cher Ofstedahl (Claremont), Chief Colleen Flores (La Verne), Maritza Flores-Travanti (Monrovia), Elizabeth McSwain, (Rancho Cucamonga), Marilyn Sparks (San Dimas), Bertha Aguirre (Sierra Madre), Cathy Billings (South Pasadena) and Kim Anthony (Upland). Over 150 nominations were sent to Assemblymember Holden for the honor.
“The 2022 Women of Distinction are dedicated leaders who improve the lives for thousands of individuals and families in the 41st Assembly District and beyond,” said Holden. “They demonstrate the power of giving to others and community empowerment, I am honored to be amongst a high caliber of professionals.”
Cher Ofstedahl leads as CEO of Trinity Youth Services, an agency which serves over 200 children and families daily through residential therapeutic services, mental health programs, foster care and adoption services. She is also CEO of the Children’s Foundation of America, a Claremont-based charity, which provides thousands of children in foster care, shelters, crisis centers, underserved school districts and more with care packages, scholarships, and grants.
Cher advocates for children in need after experiencing her own childhood trauma. Her firsthand experience gives her unique insight into a mission to help children and families create a better future. Cher has worked in foster care for over 20 years and prior to that, she worked in the music industry and as a professional actress. In her spare time, Cher performs stand-up comedy professionally.
Among her many academic degrees and certificates, Cher holds a BA in organizational management from Arizona State University and post-graduate certifications from Cornell University and Harvard Graduate School of Education. In 2019, Cher completed her master’s degree in ethical leadership from Claremont Lincoln University. She is also a member of the first graduating cohort in a National Human Services Assembly (NHSA) nonprofit executive leadership program; a collaboration with Arizona State University, Indiana University and the Lilly School of Philanthropy.
Cher has served on a variety of nonprofit boards and currently serves on the Human Relations Committee for the City of Claremont to help oversee their Diversity, Equity and Inclusion efforts, serves on the Policy and Practice Commission for the Child Welfare League of America (CWLA), is on the Juvenile Justice Steering Committee for the California Alliance for Children & Families, and is a Design Thinking Department Advisor at University of California, Riverside.
The office of California Assemblymember, Chris Holden, will present the honor of Woman of Distinction during the Children’s Foundation of America’s first annual Chari-Tea fundraiser held on Saturday, May 21. The event will raise funds and awareness for youth in foster care during National Foster Care Month. The community, women business leaders, and change makers are invited to this special event sponsored by Claremont Lincoln University.
At the event, singer/songwriter Katie Ferrara will perform a set, floral arrangements will be provided by Delia Haro Floral, a tea and coffee cart sponsored by Summit Tea and Pour Vida, as well as finger sandwiches and baked goods from many favorite local bakeries. Click here for more information on the Chari-Tea event.
Visit www.TrinityYS.org to learn more about Trinity Youth Services and visit www.ChildrensFoundationOfAmerica.org to learn more about the Children’s Foundation of America.
Thomas and Nichole Wilken tried everything in their pursuit to have children, but it wasn’t until Nichole suffered a blood clot during an in vitro procedure and subsequent stroke, that the couple explored adoption.
A friend referred them to Trinity Youth Services in 2019 and decided to foster after learning that there are thousands of children locally who need a loving home. After a 5-6 month process of getting approved, the family started fostering babies, hoping to end up with one who would become available for adoption. Then one day out of the blue, Foster Care Director, Laura Kassem, called about a six-year-old little girl, Dakota, who needed a forever family. “She’s adorable,” she said.
Thomas and Nichole were only expecting to take in babies and toddlers, but talked and prayed about it. “We decided to meet her and she is cute as a button. We fell in love with her,” Nichole said. They were told she had other siblings and that a teenage sister, Carmen, was in another home at Trinity Youth Services.
“When I heard Dakota was chosen to be in a family, I was hurt and saw a family cared about her,” Carmen said. “I wanted to find a family that cared for me like they cared for her.” So, Trinity staff asked if Thomas and Nichole would consider adopting Carmen as well.
“We were in shock,” Nichole said. “We didn’t want to take on a teen.” Thomas and Nichole invited her to Dakota’s birthday party and were hesitant. Carmen was very quiet and they weren’t sure what to make of her but came to the conclusion, “Who are we to say these siblings can’t be together?”
After careful consideration, the family welcomed Carmen with open arms and bought new furniture for the girls’ bedroom. “It worked out beautifully,” Nichole said. “We have had no problems with Carmen like I had envisioned having a teenager. I was so happy I was completely, utterly wrong about teens.”
After a little bit of time, the family moved from Riverside, CA to Loma Linda so that Carmen could have her own room. “We’re happy to be able to keep them together and it’s great to be able to dote on them,” Nichole said. Prior to the birthday party Thomas and Nichole held for Dakota, she had never had a birthday party before.
“Carmen has like 50 Bath and Body Works perfumes,” Nichole exaggerated. Carmen explained that for most of her life, she didn’t have very good access to toiletries and because of that, she wants to make sure she smells nice. “I was quiet and awkward at first, but I’m much better now,” Carmen said. To which her mom said, “She’s a normal kid.”
Once the family got the wheels in motion to adopt the siblings, their biological mother tried to appeal the decision, which delayed things by about eight months. “My ‘mom’ (though I don’t like to call her that, because she’s not my mom), just tried to make it harder on us,” Carmen explained.
Recently finalizing the adoption, the sisters (now 9 and 17) got to choose new middle names and received new last names. “We are looking forward to traveling as a family now that we have our forever family,” Nichole said. “We’re really big on creating memories.” The family recently went to the zoo and have a trip planed for Idaho to visit family, as well as an Alaskan cruise. “We do a lot of things as a family and the girls are thankful.”
Additionally, Nichole and Thomas’ parents have embraced the girls into the family. “We didn’t know what their response would be. We hoped they would love them the same as their other grandchildren and they do. We have a wonderful support system with our family, Nichole said. “It all worked out.”
Through the pandemic, Nichole went from being a nurse in the ICU, to a nurse in organ transplants. Working with COVID patients in the hospital, “I was working a lot of hours and seeing a lot of people ‘bagged up,'” she said. Nichole now has more time and emotional energy for her family.
Thomas is a proud stay-at-home dad and Nichole and the girls are very grateful to him for his presence. Carmen is taking cooking classes and learning from her new dad, who was previously a cook at a restaurant.
“I’m expanding my pallet,” Carmen said. “I had never had fish before.”
Thomas and Nichole’s advice to those thinking about fostering or adopting is to “Make sure you’re prepared. Be ready for anything. It takes a village and you’re going to need to be a powerful advocate for the children placed with you. As Resource Parents, it’s our job to be their voice,” Nichole said.
“These children are not a paycheck, they are your children,” Thomas said. “This whole experience has ups and downs. It takes a special heart.” Nichole added, “We need more of ‘the good ones’ to step up for these children.”
According to Thomas, “If we had the space, we would have 10 kids!” He and Nichole hope to add one or two more children to their family in a variety of ages and feel that awareness for children in foster care is incredibly important.
If you are interested in becoming a foster or adoptive parent, get started here or contact (888) 346-9645 to start your journey today.
Jenelle Phillips, Director of Development
Jenelle’s role is to access and identify resources for youth in our care. She is also responsible for maintaining a distinctive look and voice for Trinity through our online presence, media and community outreach. Before joining the Trinity team in 2016, Jenelle worked in publishing for nearly a decade as a graphic designer, photographer, writer and editor. Jenelle earned a bachelor’s degree in communications at California State University Fullerton and has won several awards throughout her career including a few from the National Newspaper Association. Jenelle is also very involved in her community and is active in her church.
The Albertsons Companies Foundation donated $1,500 to help feed the foster youth of Trinity Youth Services’ (TYS) Short-Term Residential Treatment Program. Their dedication to helping the community has impacted the lives of foster youth in Apple Valley, El Monte, and Yucaipa.
Keeping our youth healthy is our main priority and we appreciate the partnership of Albertsons Companies Foundation. The impact of the COVID 19 pandemic and transition to meet the requirements of the Family First Prevention Services Act of 2018 (FFPSA), has tremendously effected TYS. It is thanks to organizations such as the Albertson’s Companies Foundation that we are able to continue helping children and families create a better future.
To learn more about how you can help our foster youth, click here to get involved.
Isabel Millward-Pena, Communications Specialist
Isabel contributes content for our social media, blog, newsletters and promotional materials. She recently earned a bachelor’s degree in English from California State University San Bernardino and is currently working on her master’s degree. Isabel began working at Trinity as an intern, was hired as clerical, and was then promoted to communications in our development department. Prior to her work at Trinity, she was a substitute instructional aid and a supervisor at Starbucks. She has also volunteered as an aid at local elementary schools and notably achieved “Partner of the Quarter” at Starbucks in 2017. Isabel is an active member of Trinity’s Diversity, Inclusion, Value and Equity (DIVE) team and volunteers her time at the Children’s Foundation of America.
Devin Alexander is a New York Times bestselling author, award-winning entrepreneur, highly coveted keynote speaker, philanthropist and celebrity TV chef best known for decade-long stint as the Chef on NBC’s Biggest Loser. None of her professional accomplishments bring her joy and fulfillment more than being a mom to her “miracle baby,” who she affectionately calls, Jellybean, whom she adopted from the Los Angeles foster care system.
Named one of the “Top 200 Most Influential Authors in the World,” Devin has appeared on National TV Shows from the Today Show to The Doctors and Rachael Ray for over 15 years. A passionate foster care advocate, Devin began working in the foster care field as a volunteer. According to Devin, “I had done some volunteering in the foster care space at a time when I was a bit of a work-a-holic. I was very ‘exposed’ to the need for loving foster families. ”
“I also became acutely aware of how very few children go to families with tremendous resources (in retrospect because if you have ‘means’ it can be easier ‘not to deal with the system’). I have an awesome network and grew up being taught to live my dreams. I wanted to share all of that with a child, and selfishly, I really wanted to be a mom even though I wasn’t married.”
While single parents often think of adopting a child through an adoption agency, Devin decided to adopt a child through foster care. “I just really had a sense of how badly we need foster families, and statistics show that many people are hesitant and have a lot of fears around it, but most families who ‘take the plunge’ are so glad they did, and really feel that they are the lucky ones to have their children in their lives! I know, I feel that way!” says Devin.
Devin is a successful single parent who wears many hats while juggling her career. For busy professionals who want to foster or adopt, Devin’s message is, “You definitely need to have a support system. All parents say, ‘it takes a tribe’ and it couldn’t be more true. Throw on top of that, that the foster journey can come with emotional ups and downs (though there are also benefits like a guarantee of no postpartum depression).”
Devin’s advice to consider before deciding to adopt or foster a child is, “You just need to make sure you are doing it because you want to be a parent and because you know you have love to give. I was a bit older, and I still really wanted to be a mom. There are a lot of sacrifices to being parent, but I was excited to make them because I was old enough to be ‘over’ going out every weekend night, etc.
I actually enjoyed just laying on my bed watching my little angel’s baby monitor. And, though I had to radically shift my sleep schedule for hers and put more time than I’d even imagine into her, I am acutely aware that I wouldn’t change it for the world. My daughter is only 3 and I taught her how to say, ‘J-O-Y! I am JOY!’ She knows she is loved and is the #1 source of my joy.”
For those who are considering becoming a foster parent, Devin’s advice is, “Please accept a placement because your #1 reason is LOVE! If you’re not fully ready to be a parent or think having a child in the home will ‘solve’ anything, it’s not the right time. These kids need love and all of the assistance provided should be used directly for the child who is placed with you.“
“The more I’m involved in the ‘front lines,’ the more I realize that if we could just find individuals to be there for the kids (especially the teens) so that they have someone to guide them, we’d actually all be better off—crime rates, homelessness and taxes would all decrease helping us all. But most importantly, we’d save precious lives!”
Devin is focused on doing a lot more work in the foster care space to be a voice for the kids who age out of the system. She is also working on new projects, including “FitMomFitKids” initiatives to help moms and kids get and stay fit together. Devin also wrote a children’s book to get little ones to want to eat vegetables. The book will be out early in 2022.
For more information about Devin and her exciting upcoming projects, please visit www.devinalexander.com. You can also follow her on Instagram (@devinalexander and @fitmomfitkids_) or Facebook (@devinalexander).
If you are inspired to open your heart and your home to a child who needs you, call Trinity Youth Services at 888-346-9645, or click here to start your foster care journey.
Eve Powers, Foster Care Marketing Specialist
Eve has a strong commitment to helping foster youth and their families thrive and live successful lives. A former foster youth, Eve obtained her bachelor’s and master’s degree in Communications from California State University, San Bernardino, and is a certified Holistic Life Coach, motivational writer, self-help author and celebrity interviewer. Beyond the Trinity Youth Services blog, Eve’s articles can be found in numerous platforms including Foster Focus Magazine, Heart & Soul Magazine, BET Centric and Huffington Post. A passionate advocate for the LGBTQ community, Eve continues to educate, support and mentor foster youth throughout Southern California.
With the right support, at-risk youth can become resilient and successful adults. Manuel Munoz is a shining example of a how determination, patience, kindness, and support can give teens a better future.
A proud graduate of Trinity Youth Services’ STRTP program, Manuel was surrounded by caring adults who invested in his future and gave him extra support in transforming challenging behaviors resulting from trauma.
While in the program, Manuel learned the value of structure, and how to succeed financially, which helped him create his own successful business called Integrate LA, an apparel manufacturing company located in downtown Los Angeles. “We make samples, patterns and grading. We also do printing and embroidery,” says Manuel.
Before coming to Trinity Youth Services, Manuel’s life was unstable and challenging, but deep inside, he wanted to have a better life. When he began working with the Trinity staff, Manuel was introduced to a new environment that helped him reach his full potential.
According to Manuel, “Being at Trinity Youth Services helped me learn different things that I would be needing as I got older, such as saving money and having structure. I also got to experience things I had never experienced before, such as going bike riding in Malibu or going hiking in the canyons.”
One of the biggest challenges Manuel faced, was learning how to understand people, and see things from their perspective. He also learned how to follow rules, which was instrumental in helping him decrease challenging behaviors and achieve his goals in a timely manner.
Working closely with the Trinity Youth Services staff allowed Manuel to feel respected and safe. According to Manuel, “A lot of the Trinity staff where amazing. They would try to relate to us and make us feel like we weren’t criminals. They also treated us with respect as long as we respected them.”
Now an accomplished business owner, Manuel is passionate about inspiring current at-risk youth, because he believes that they can succeed. Manuel recently visited our El Monte campus, and bought pizza and soda for all the youth while inspiring them with his story. Cathleen Duran, El Monte Recreation Coordinator, was very impressed with Manuel’s success and stated, “Our youth enjoyed talking with him.”
His advice to youth who want to follow in his footsteps is, “Keep going, stay hungry and never settle.” To find out more about Manuel Munoz, visit www.integratelosangeles.com.
If you are interested in giving a teen a better future, and would like to learn more about how you can help by becoming a foster or adoptive parent, please call 888-346-9645, or click here to get started.
Eve Powers, Foster Care Marketing Specialist
Eve has a strong commitment to helping foster youth and their families thrive and live successful lives. A former foster youth, Eve obtained her bachelor’s and master’s degree in Communications from California State University, San Bernardino, and is a certified Holistic Life Coach, motivational writer, self-help author and celebrity interviewer. Beyond the Trinity Youth Services blog, Eve’s articles can be found in numerous platforms including Foster Focus Magazine, Heart & Soul Magazine, BET Centric and Huffington Post. A passionate advocate for the LGBTQ community, Eve continues to educate, support and mentor foster youth throughout Southern California.
“Anyone can be helped, supported, and have a change of heart and mind. No one in this world is a lost cause. I don’t care where they are, where they come from or what they have done, even though some of society would say otherwise,” says Lana-Christy Starr, former foster youth, life coach and motivational speaker.
Lana-Christy is an accomplished entrepreneur, motivational speaker, author, life coach and business consultant whose life mission is helping youth and adults of all ages become successful in life.
Although Lana-Christy has a long list of achievements, her journey to becoming the successful woman she is today was a challenging one. As a former foster youth who beat the odds, Lana-Christy faced major obstacles growing up. According to Lana, “I have overcome a lot of different challenges, including mental illness (depression/anger issues), behavioral issues, homelessness, and complex internal issues from feeling alone in a world without having a biological family, and so much more.
In spite of the overwhelming obstacles she endured, Lana-Christy always had a desire to live a better life. “Being that I have always had a deep desire for more—for change, for love, and to love myself, I believe it was part of my destiny. It took so many years for me to get where I am now, and it’s still a journey even though I have overcome so many challenges.”
Like most foster youth, Lana-Christy needed guidance, love and support from caring adults who could help her heal her pain and create a better future. According to Lana-Christy, “I started going to counseling at a very young age, and I have always had to receive some type of support throughout the years to deal with life and the self-hatred I experienced as a direct effect of trauma.
I also received ministry counseling, which finally helped me when I turned 30-years-old. I also attended a lot of classes, enrolled in school, workshops, and conferences to change my perspective and my life. I’ve had a desire to help others not experience the pain, torment, and the ocean of problems I have faced.”
There is a strong belief that youth who have had tough childhoods can’t become successful, but Lana-Christy’s story is one that shows that success comes from caring adults, and the willingness to get help. “I see myself as striving for success, which is not in who I am, but in what I can give and do with what I become, says Lana-Christy. My success is not by my might. My success comes from me working on myself to become more nurturing, and compassionate to the reality of who I am internally, and who I came from.
It also comes from understanding that everything is ok, even when it does not look ok or feel ok all of the time. My success is because of God, which has helped me have the capabilities as well as the courage to face myself-the good and the bad, and take the necessary actions for positive change.”
Some of the biggest life lessons Lana-Christy has learned is: “Life doesn’t determine what will happen to you, who you’ll become or where you will go. It is up to each person to determine that and to rewrite their own outcome, whether it’s positive or negative. Don’t submit to accepting less than what you deserve based off of the low place you think you’re in. Tell your mind how to think and what to believe, because thoughts are produced by the familiar (your past). Tell yourself who you are, and how powerful you are. You can overcome and become what you put your mind to for the good if you are willing to wait and invest in yourself. Believe that you are loved and allow yourself to be loved by anyone who wants to place a healthy deposit in your life”
As a passionate life coach who helps people heal trauma, Lana-Christy shares a special message to our youth: “Your existence and relevance in life is not based off what you have or where you come from. Who you are is strategically designed for a purpose. You are made for more. You just have to believe it and not allow your emotions to dictate your value or worth. You are valuable, and are able to write your own story and complete it, but it’s contingent on how hard you are willing to fight for yourself. No one can love you more than you can love yourself.”
For potential foster parents who are on the fence about fostering, Lana-Christy’s encouragement is: “What I know to be the truth is that Perfect love casts out fear. Most of us as human beings, especially those in the foster care system, or youth who were adopted, are walking around in fear. We feel fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear from trauma, as well as experience a generational fear that’s been passed down through our bloodline. What has been proven is that when we choose to walk in perfect love, which is a love that is strong, patient, flexible, humble and steadfast, love wins.”
“Things may not always go the way we think they should go. There are times when it won’t seem logical to love someone who has behavioral problems, but most people just want and absolutely need love. Love is not a foolish, gullible exhortation. It is a strong, sober decision to do what benefits the child or teen in order for them to become healthy, balanced, and strong individuals,” says Lana.
Through her company, MzLana Christy’s Enlightenment L.L.C., Lana-Christy operates a Resource Center that provides a variety of services, including life coaching, business grant resources, ghostwriting services, resource referrals and more. Lana looks forward to helping foster youth with counseling, coaching, and employment preparation.
A celebrated author, Lana’s first book, You Are Far More Valuable Than You Know and her second book, A Little Reminder to Love You More, are available on Amazon. To learn more about Lana, visit her website at www.christyispurposedriven.net.
Eve Powers, Foster Care Marketing Specialist
Eve has a strong commitment to helping foster youth and their families thrive and live successful lives. A former foster youth, Eve obtained her bachelor’s and master’s degree in Communications from California State University, San Bernardino, and is a certified Holistic Life Coach, motivational writer, self-help author and celebrity interviewer. Beyond the Trinity Youth Services blog, Eve’s articles can be found in numerous platforms including Foster Focus Magazine, Heart & Soul Magazine, BET Centric and Huffington Post. A passionate advocate for the LGBTQ community, Eve continues to educate, support and mentor foster youth throughout Southern California.
Birthdays are a time to celebrate and make a child feel special and loved. However, children foster care are often robbed of this experience due to a variety of reasons. To ensure that all our foster youth receive the celebration they deserve, we’ve partnered with Children’s Foundation of America (CFA).
Thanks to CFA and their Birthday-in-a-Bag campaign, our foster youth get to experience a joyful birthday. The organization reaches out to us monthly for a list of children’s birthdays and their wishes. The youth in our care are always so happy and appreciative to receive their birthday gifts.
“I love my gift, I’m so happy,” said one youth after opening his birthday gift. “It felt so good to be remembered,” replied another youth when asked how they felt receiving a birthday gift from CFA.
“There are youth that consider their birthday just another day. I will say the gifts put smiles on their faces and the youth have expressed gratitude for acknowledging them. I also have the kitchen make a birthday cake for the youth. Sometimes the dorm will sing but if the youth prefer to just eat his cake without singing, we honor that,” said Cathleen Duran, El Monte Recreational Coordinator.
Thank you to CFA for supporting our children and helping us celebrate their precious lives. If you are interest in partnering with us to support our children contact Isabel Millward-Pena at imillwardpena@trinityys.org or at 909.426.0773 ext. 234.
Isabel Millward-Pena, Communications Specialist
Isabel contributes content for our social media, blog, newsletters and promotional materials. She recently earned a bachelor’s degree in English from California State University San Bernardino and is currently working on her master’s degree. Isabel began working at Trinity as an intern, was hired as clerical, and was then promoted to communications in our development department. Prior to her work at Trinity, she was a substitute instructional aid and a supervisor at Starbucks. She has also volunteered as an aid at local elementary schools and notably achieved “Partner of the Quarter” at Starbucks in 2017. Isabel is an active member of Trinity’s Diversity, Inclusion, Value and Equity (DIVE) team and volunteers her time at the Children’s Foundation of America.
Dear Supporters,
The pandemic has taken a heavy toll on many people’s mental health, including children. The Ensuring Medicaid Continuity for Children in Foster Care Act (S.2689) would ensure children in foster care receive the mental health coverage they need.
The Family First Prevention Services Act of 2018 (FFPSA) created a federal category of residential settings called qualified residential treatment programs (QRTPs). These programs were designed to provide care for children in foster care with assessed emotional or behavioral needs in a residential setting. Trinity’s residential programs fall into this category.
The healthcare needs of children in foster care are covered by Medicaid. Today, however, QRTPs may not receive Medicaid financing because of an exclusion in the law, set to go into effect on October 1, 2021. The Institutions for Mental Disease (IMD) exclusion, is a law that prohibits Medicaid payments to residential facilities with more than 16 beds that primarily provide care for people with mental health conditions.
The Ensuring Medicaid Continuity for Children in Foster Care Act of 2021 would provide a narrow exemption from the IMD exclusion to ensure children in foster care receiving care in QRTPs can continue to receive care provided in these settings without losing their federal Medicaid coverage.
Please join me in urging our senators to support Medicaid access for children in foster care. This directly affects the children at Trinity Youth Services. Your voice matters in advocating for our children to receive the care they require.
Take Action
Cher Ofstedahl
Chief Executive Officer
Like so many foster youth, 15-year-old Gabby was in multiple foster homes, and had a challenge with trusting adults, until she met her newest foster mom, Melinda Wood. Melinda, a single empty nester, decided to foster Gabby because she had a lot of love left in her heart and personal time after successfully raising her biological son.
According to Melinda, “What made me decide to become a foster parent was an empty nest. I only have one biological child and he graduated college, got a career, and moved out to Orange County. I still see him every Sunday, but he left me with a lot of alone time.”
After learning about Trinity Youth Services, Melinda decided to choose the agency because she felt that she would get the help she needed to succeed. “I wanted an agency that would advocate for me. This was my first time doing anything like this and I wanted as much support as I could get. Trinity provided that for me. I wanted to adopt and felt fostering and getting to know a child that needed me as much as I needed him/her was the best way to go about it. I did not feel that I would have the energy to keep up with an infant, so I decided on an older child. Trinity’s staff worked tirelessly at helping me find my forever girl. I started fostering in my home 13 months ago. I have to tell you that we were both really excited when the court date came. It took a while to bond with her in the beginning. We actually met during the pandemic by Zoom of all things. We did these Zoom meetings for about 10 minutes every other day. Then she came for an ‘extended visit,'” explains Melinda.
“This meant that she could visit for as long as she wanted and stay if she wanted. They didn’t want her going back and forth during the pandemic for obvious reasons. She had been in multiple foster homes and one group home over her time in foster care, so she wasn’t very trusting and that is why it took so long to bond. I really don’t think it was real in her mind until the court date. In the beginning, I was nervous, but after about two weeks together, I started to relax,” says Melinda.
At Trinity Youth Services, we strive to make the adoption process as smooth as possible for our parents by providing 24-7 support and guidance. According to Melinda, “My assigned case worker from Trinity at the time was Roomina. I was on the phone with her as well as email several times a day for the first two weeks. She was always very thoughtful and supportive as well as being my advocate when I ran into school issues. That is why I was able to relax and start being a mother to Gabby. After about 3 months, I knew I was going to keep Gabby and then it was just a matter of waiting for the court dates. That is why we were so excited when the big day finally came.”
Although Melinda wanted to adopt a child, the journey was not always easy. “One challenge Trinity helped me overcome, was fear of the unknown child that I would get since I was new. They promised to support me 24/7, and they did that,” says Melinda. During her fostering journey, Melinda learned how to balance being a mom while learning the rules of fostering.
According to Melinda, “The most important lesson was to handle the child as if they were your own most of the time. I got way too caught up in what I can and can’t do with all the restrictions and rules, that I forgot to be a mother instead of a court appointed babysitter. Once I let go of all the worrying about what I can and can’t do, that is when Gabby and I truly started to jell. This was around the third month when I finally in my heart made the commitment that I was adopting Gabby.”
Being a mom to Gabby has been a rewarding experience for Melinda, who strives to equip her daughter and son with knowledge and skills that will help them succeed in their daily lives. “The most rewarding part of being an adoptive mom is that I don’t have an empty nest and I have someone I can give all my love and affection to every day that appreciates it,” says Melinda.
“Some life skills I teach my children are that life is not always easy. You are constantly on a journey of ups and downs. Take the ups and cherish them when they come around. Take the downs and learn from them. You are never too old to learn and the more you learn, the stronger you become every time you hit those downs. I also teach them that life is crazy, and you have to be crazy with it. Try and laugh at least a couple of times a day. Try and see the ‘funny’ in everything.”
As a foster-turned-adoptive mom, Melinda feels grateful to be able to provide unconditional love and support to her daughter, who has also been a blessing in her life. “I have had a special impact on this young lady, and she has had a special impact on me. To be honest, with her disabilities, I would fear for her life after she aged out of foster care. Even with the additional support provided until they are 21, she would not have made it. She needs a family who will support her all of her life and I don’t ever want an empty nest, so I am privileged she chose me back to provide this for her.”
Some people who consider fostering or adopting, often fear experiencing challenging behaviors, but Melinda shares a more positive perspective. According to Melinda, “Every child is different and has different behaviors. This is including biological children. I know several biological children who have worse behaviors than my Gabby. Once you learn how your child tics, you adapt and learn the different things that work to deter negative behaviors. To be honest, biological children have a sense of entitlement and don’t always appreciate what parents do for them. Gabby appreciates everything I do for her including the little things because she didn’t have these things before. When she first came to stay, I think she was so terrified I would send her back that she was too well behaved. She wanted to do everything for me instead of being the child she is. Roomina at Trinity helped me help her to relax and just be a kid.”
For those who want to foster, but are concerned about the possibility of their children being reunited with their biological parents, Melinda shares this advice: “I had that fear, especially since I was doing this specifically to adopt. If you want to adopt, have Trinity work on finding you a foster child that has a good chance of adoption right out of the gate. You might still lose the child to their parents and it would be hard, but you have to keep trying until God tells you this is the one for you. Meanwhile, you gave a child who needed it at least temporarily, a roof over their head, food for their hungry tummies, and the support and love they needed at a really hard time in their life. After the pain of losing them subsides, you will be able to look back with nice thoughts that you did something good for someone else during your journey to find your forever family.”
If you want to foster or adopt a child, and would like more information on how to become certified at Trinity Youth Services, please call 310-291-3889. You can also click here to start your journey online.
Eve Powers, Foster Care Marketing Specialist
Eve has a strong commitment to helping foster youth and their families thrive and live successful lives. A former foster youth, Eve obtained her bachelor’s and master’s degree in Communications from California State University, San Bernardino, and is a certified Holistic Life Coach, motivational writer, self-help author and celebrity interviewer. Beyond the Trinity Youth Services blog, Eve’s articles can be found in numerous platforms including Foster Focus Magazine, Heart & Soul Magazine, BET Centric and Huffington Post. A passionate advocate for the LGBTQ community, Eve continues to educate, support and mentor foster youth throughout Southern California.
The Luzuriaga Foundation is a Los Angeles based non-profit organization that empowers youth in need, through writing letters. Recently, The Luzuriaga Foundation reached out to Trinity Youth Services after being inspired by our work to create a better future for foster youth.
Their dedicated volunteers sent some amazing letters to our youth in order to help them feel special and encouraged. View some of the letters below. Founded by Marjorie Luzuriaga, a rising junior at Larchmont Charter High School, The Luzuriaga Foundation began at the beginning of the quarantine, in 2020.
According to Marjorie, “The non-profit organization all began with an idea at midnight. COVID was at its peak, and I wanted to figure out a way for the less fortunate to connect with others across the globe.” The Luzuriaga Foundation now has hundreds of volunteers of all ages, who have written to youth across the world, and has also donated to programs such as the Adopt-a-Family at UCLA Children’s Hospital, the Los Angeles Mission, and the Youth Emerging Stronger homeless shelter in Los Angeles.
One of Marjorie’s missions is helping her foundation expand globally, and she is accomplishing her dream. “We have reached over 600 volunteers! It has been overwhelming with the amount of support this foundation has received,” says Marjorie.
Truly passionate about helping youth, Marjorie believes in the power of affirmations, and encourages youth to utilize them. When asked what advice she’d give to youth struggling with self-confidence, her response was, “The best advice I could give is BE YOU! Being yourself is the best thing you can do because each one of us is unique. I recommend saying daily affirmations like, ‘I can do this!’ or ‘I dream, I believe, I receive!’ By saying these daily affirmations continuously, you will begin believing in yourself,” says Marjorie.
Creating more happiness in the lives of youth in crisis is one of the most rewarding aspects of being a volunteer. According to Marjorie, “I love seeing their smiles when they receive their letters. It makes everything worth it.”
For more information about The Luzuriaga Foundation, visit their Instagram and Facebook pages. To volunteer, apply here.
Eve Powers, Foster Care Marketing Specialist
Eve has a strong commitment to helping foster youth and their families thrive and live successful lives. A former foster youth, Eve obtained her bachelor’s and master’s degree in Communications from California State University, San Bernardino, and is a certified Holistic Life Coach, motivational writer, self-help author and celebrity interviewer. Beyond the Trinity Youth Services blog, Eve’s articles can be found in numerous platforms including Foster Focus Magazine, Heart & Soul Magazine, BET Centric and Huffington Post. A passionate advocate for the LGBTQ community, Eve continues to educate, support and mentor foster youth throughout Southern California.
