Thomas and Nichole Wilken tried everything in their pursuit to have children, but it wasn’t until Nichole suffered a blood clot during an in vitro procedure and subsequent stroke, that the couple explored adoption.
A friend referred them to Trinity Youth Services in 2019 and decided to foster after learning that there are thousands of children locally who need a loving home. After a 5-6 month process of getting approved, the family started fostering babies, hoping to end up with one who would become available for adoption. Then one day out of the blue, Foster Care Director, Laura Kassem, called about a six-year-old little girl, Dakota, who needed a forever family. “She’s adorable,” she said.
Thomas and Nichole were only expecting to take in babies and toddlers, but talked and prayed about it. “We decided to meet her and she is cute as a button. We fell in love with her,” Nichole said. They were told she had other siblings and that a teenage sister, Carmen, was in another home at Trinity Youth Services.
“When I heard Dakota was chosen to be in a family, I was hurt and saw a family cared about her,” Carmen said. “I wanted to find a family that cared for me like they cared for her.” So, Trinity staff asked if Thomas and Nichole would consider adopting Carmen as well.
“We were in shock,” Nichole said. “We didn’t want to take on a teen.” Thomas and Nichole invited her to Dakota’s birthday party and were hesitant. Carmen was very quiet and they weren’t sure what to make of her but came to the conclusion, “Who are we to say these siblings can’t be together?”
After careful consideration, the family welcomed Carmen with open arms and bought new furniture for the girls’ bedroom. “It worked out beautifully,” Nichole said. “We have had no problems with Carmen like I had envisioned having a teenager. I was so happy I was completely, utterly wrong about teens.”
After a little bit of time, the family moved from Riverside, CA to Loma Linda so that Carmen could have her own room. “We’re happy to be able to keep them together and it’s great to be able to dote on them,” Nichole said. Prior to the birthday party Thomas and Nichole held for Dakota, she had never had a birthday party before.
“Carmen has like 50 Bath and Body Works perfumes,” Nichole exaggerated. Carmen explained that for most of her life, she didn’t have very good access to toiletries and because of that, she wants to make sure she smells nice. “I was quiet and awkward at first, but I’m much better now,” Carmen said. To which her mom said, “She’s a normal kid.”
Once the family got the wheels in motion to adopt the siblings, their biological mother tried to appeal the decision, which delayed things by about eight months. “My ‘mom’ (though I don’t like to call her that, because she’s not my mom), just tried to make it harder on us,” Carmen explained.
Recently finalizing the adoption, the sisters (now 9 and 17) got to choose new middle names and received new last names. “We are looking forward to traveling as a family now that we have our forever family,” Nichole said. “We’re really big on creating memories.” The family recently went to the zoo and have a trip planed for Idaho to visit family, as well as an Alaskan cruise. “We do a lot of things as a family and the girls are thankful.”
Additionally, Nichole and Thomas’ parents have embraced the girls into the family. “We didn’t know what their response would be. We hoped they would love them the same as their other grandchildren and they do. We have a wonderful support system with our family, Nichole said. “It all worked out.”
Through the pandemic, Nichole went from being a nurse in the ICU, to a nurse in organ transplants. Working with COVID patients in the hospital, “I was working a lot of hours and seeing a lot of people ‘bagged up,'” she said. Nichole now has more time and emotional energy for her family.
Thomas is a proud stay-at-home dad and Nichole and the girls are very grateful to him for his presence. Carmen is taking cooking classes and learning from her new dad, who was previously a cook at a restaurant.
“I’m expanding my pallet,” Carmen said. “I had never had fish before.”
Thomas and Nichole’s advice to those thinking about fostering or adopting is to “Make sure you’re prepared. Be ready for anything. It takes a village and you’re going to need to be a powerful advocate for the children placed with you. As Resource Parents, it’s our job to be their voice,” Nichole said.
“These children are not a paycheck, they are your children,” Thomas said. “This whole experience has ups and downs. It takes a special heart.” Nichole added, “We need more of ‘the good ones’ to step up for these children.”
According to Thomas, “If we had the space, we would have 10 kids!” He and Nichole hope to add one or two more children to their family in a variety of ages and feel that awareness for children in foster care is incredibly important.
If you are interested in becoming a foster or adoptive parent, get started here or contact (888) 346-9645 to start your journey today.
Jenelle Phillips, Director of Development
Jenelle’s role is to access and identify resources for youth in our care. She is also responsible for maintaining a distinctive look and voice for Trinity through our online presence, media and community outreach. Before joining the Trinity team in 2016, Jenelle worked in publishing for nearly a decade as a graphic designer, photographer, writer and editor. Jenelle earned a bachelor’s degree in communications at California State University Fullerton and has won several awards throughout her career including a few from the National Newspaper Association. Jenelle is also very involved in her community and is active in her church.
The Continuum of Care Reform (CCR) was designed so that children living out of their home would be provided the most appropriate placement in committed nurturing resource (foster) homes. Services and supports will be tailored based on each child’s needs. All of these services and supports fall into 6 Core Services: mental health, transition support upon entry, educational/physical/behavioral/extracurricular support, transition to adulthood support, permanency support, and Native American child services.
The Trinity Youth Services (TYS) team, along with our resource (foster) families, will directly provide the core services and support to children, Non-Minor Dependents (NMD) and their families, fulfilling the requirements of the CCR.
Last month we outlined the fourth core services, Transition to Adulthood Support. This month we will look at Permanency Support Services.
This core service is critical to all children in out of home care. The primary goal is to find a permanent home for each child so that they do not continue to grow up in foster care. Biological family is always the first choice to provide permanency, but when this option is not possible, resource parents step in to provide a permanent home.
TYS’s mission is “helping children and families create a better future.” We achieve this by assisting in reunification services including transporting to and monitoring family visitation. TYS also is an active participant in the Child and Family Team Meetings. TYS ensures that children are assessed and receive mental health services to assist in stabilizing and achieving permanency. TYS also provides appropriate assessment and matching for children and youth to achieve permanency. Additionally, our team supports all efforts to reunify or achieve adoption or guardianship and efforts to maintain or establish relationships with parents, siblings, extended family members, tribes, or others important to the child or youth, as appropriate.
Check back next month for our final blog on core services, which will focus on Native American child services.
Jackie Jakob, Foster Care and Adoptions Director
Having over 20 years’ experience, Jackie currently oversees Trinity Youth Services’ operations of foster care and adoptions programs throughout Southern California and in Houston, Texas. She received a bachelor’s degree in law and society from University of California Santa Barbara, a master’s degree in social work from California State University Long Beach and recently became a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Jackie enjoys spending time with her husband and two children attending various baseball, softball and judo meets. She is on the parent board for a judo dojo and is one of the troop leaders for her daughter’s Girl Scout troop. Additionally, she really enjoys running half marathons and aims to run 4 to 5 races each year.
Tel: 909.825.5588 | Email: info@trinityys.org
Jack and Kendrena Fuller didn’t lose hope when their doctor told them they couldn’t have children. The couple, who live in Redlands, CA, decided to do something positive with their circumstances. In 2015, the Fullers decided to become foster parents.
Jackson was placed with them first, a hands-on, smart child who continues to wow the Fullers with his ability to be a fast learner. Then came Elyn, a smiley girl whose joy is to make others smile. Both were just a few weeks old when they came into Jack and Kendrena’s lives. Jackson, now 2, and Elyn, just a little over a year old, are officially Fullers.
“There was a hole for us and they filled it,” Jack said. Kendrena added that she would encourage others to foster-adopt. “It’s an amazing experience and a fulfilling feeling,” she said.
The whole family was present on the day of the adoption hearing and has been supportive of Jack and Kendrena’s foster-adopt journey from the beginning. “They love the children as much as we do,” Jack said. Family members towed balloons, signs and toys for the children, celebrating and cheering on the growing family.
The day was an exciting one for the Fullers. Kendrena described it as “amazing” and Jack said it was also a relief to officially be the children’s parents. However, the Fuller’s story doesn’t end here. Jack and Kendrena are in the process of adopting Jackson’s biological little sister who is just four months old. “They called us from the hospital. We had about five minutes to decide and we went for it,” Kendrena said. “We’re so glad, she’s a sweet girl.”
Watch for our next blog on the Fuller family as we continue the journey from foster care to adoption. If you are interested in becoming a foster or adoptive parent, call us at 888-346-9645 or email info@trinityys.org. You also may begin the process right now by filling out an inquiry form by clicking here.
Jenelle Rensch, Marketing and Promotions Specialist
Jenelle maintains a distinctive look and voice for Trinity Youth Services through our online presence, media and community outreach. Before joining the Trinity team in 2016, Jenelle worked in the newspaper/magazine industry for nearly a decade as a graphic designer, photographer, writer and editor. Jenelle earned a bachelor’s degree in visual communications at California State University Fullerton and has won several awards throughout her career including a few from the National Newspaper Association.
Tel: (909) 825-5588 | Email: jrensch@trinityys.org
Trinity Youth Services’ Rancho Cucamonga office currently serves 42 families and has 70 youth in placement. Resource families invite foster youth into their own home to provide consistent support and compassion, day in and day out.
“We had this event to bring families together,” said Trinity Rancho Cucamonga Director, Laura Abujudeh. “It was an opportunity for us to take the time to extend a ‘thank you’ to all our resource parents for working around the clock to ensure the needs of all children in their care are met.”
In attendance were resource families, Assemblyman Steinorth, The Hillman Group and Trinity staff, for a total of about 60 people. The Hillman Group Rialto Distribution Center held multiple fundraisers to make this event possible and even volunteered the day of the event to help barbeque. LuLaRoe also fundraised for this event and made a generous donation of “mommy and me” clothing sets, which were raffled during the event.
Families in attendance enjoyed entertainment by Susie Q the Clown, face painting, a bounce house, barbequed hotdogs, fresh salad and tasty gelato. Families also received a gift bag provided in partnership with the Children’s Foundation of America.
“I didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity to express how deeply gratified I am that each and every one of these families has invested their time and energy into taking care of our young people” said Steinorth. “I believe in foster families and I believe in adoption; I believe that all of those good works really make the difference. You have made an immeasurable difference for all of them.”
Thank you to all who helped make this event possible, showing gratitude to the families who have generously opened their hearts and their homes for children in need. Most importantly, thank you to the families who care for children in foster care.
Sasha Chavez, AmeriCorps VIP Intern
Sasha is volunteering with Trinity Youth Services and the Children’s Foundation of America as our AmeriCorps VIP (Volunteer Infrastructure Program) Intern. This mutually beneficial partnership allows Sasha to work hand-in-hand with our nonprofit organizations to develop and expand the quality of the volunteer opportunities to address the unmet needs of our local community. Sasha has been a wonderful asset to our team. She creates content for our social media, assists with our community outreach and has even helped by coordinating fundraisers and volunteer opportunities. She lives locally to our headquarters in Claremont and studies public relations and marketing at the University of La Verne. When she isn’t working as an intern, she enjoys reading, being outdoors and spending time with my friends and family.
