I’ve heard this statement time and time again: “Eve, I’d love to become a foster parent, but my partner does not approve.” Although I can definitely understand that this can be a sensitive issue that may spark a debate, I don’t believe that all is lost if your partner is less than thrilled about fostering.
Here’s what I know: So many people believe the myths they’ve heard or read about fostering or foster youth, but don’t truly know all of the facts. Giving your partner the facts on fostering, as well as being around happy foster parents, may convince them to try fostering. Here are some key tips to help your spouse become as excited as you are about fostering:
1. Don’t accept your spouse’s “No” response without obtaining more information. Ask them why they don’t want to foster. Is it fear? Lack of time? Worried about being overwhelmed? Asking them specific reasons why they oppose fostering will help you obtain the information you need to educate them about how to overcome that specific challenge.
2. Ask your significant other what would make them more open to fostering. Your partner may be able to state the reasons why they are opposed to fostering, but try to open their minds by asking them a different question. When you ask them what would make them open to fostering, you’ll learn what you’ll need to do to get to a “Yes” answer much faster.
3. Attend foster parent meetings. One of the best ways to get your partner on board to foster, is for them to be around positive foster parents who can talk to them about their experiences. This is key, because it will cause them to start imaging what’s possible as a foster parent. When your spouse hears stories that conflict with their current beliefs about fostering, they will start to question what they believe, and may start to be more open to fostering.
4. Show them positive videos of foster youth or foster families. Visually seeing other families similar to yours who are speaking highly of their foster youth, can help change your spouse’s perspective on fostering, especially if they are fearful of having a new child in the home, or are concerned about challenging behaviors.
5. Attend foster care orientations. Attending orientations is a great way of learning more about the certification process, and what to expect when a new child moves in. This may alleviate some apprehension from your spouse, because they will learn about the process in a more detailed way, and understand that they will receive 24-7 support, and so much more. They can also address their concerns and get the answers they need to move forward in their fostering journey.
6. Sign up to become a respite parent. If your partner is hesitant about fostering due to having a busy schedule, discussing respite care may be a great starting point! With respite care, you are able to care for a child when your schedule permits, and you’ll be able to see if fostering full time is right for you.
If you’d like to learn more, please schedule an appointment when it is convenient for you and your spouse.
Eve Powers, Foster Care Marketing Specialist
Eve has a strong commitment to helping foster youth and their families thrive and live successful lives. A former foster youth, Eve obtained her bachelor’s and master’s degree in Communications from California State University, San Bernardino, and is a certified Holistic Life Coach, motivational writer, self-help author and celebrity interviewer. Beyond the Trinity Youth Services blog, Eve’s articles can be found in numerous platforms including Foster Focus Magazine, Heart & Soul Magazine, BET Centric and Huffington Post. A passionate advocate for the LGBTQ community, Eve continues to educate, support and mentor foster youth throughout Southern California.
Having unconditional love for children is one of the biggest reasons people become foster parents. The desire to give support to a child in crisis and see their growth is one of the biggest rewards of foster parenting. Eva Gerantan, along with her husband, dedicate their time and love to children in need, and have helped over 30 children receive the care and nurturing they need to thrive.
Eva has been a Trinity foster parent for 7 years, and just adopted three-year-old Cooper. “I have eight kids total, and I am in the process of adopting two little girls, ages 4 and 3. I became a Trinity foster parent because we checked a few agencies, but came to Trinity because the staff were friendly and helpful. My social workers Lynette and Roomina, are amazing. They taught me how to fill out paperwork properly, and if I needed anything, they got back with me quickly, and I appreciate that,” Eva said.
“The most rewarding thing about being a foster parent is when that moment comes when a child realizes that you’re their person. I think that’s the best. I’ve had around 30 kids, and to see kids go back to their families, see them grow and get the help they need is rewarding,” she said.
Adopting and helping at-risk foster youth was something that was planted in Eva’s heart as a youth. According to Eva, “I adopted because when I was a teen, our mayor was married to the Chief of Police. We lived by an impoverished Native American reservation, and there were a lot of kids in foster care, but there weren’t a lot of homes. The mayor and the Chief of Police took in a lot of babies, so I’d go volunteer to help feed them.”
Her desire to help youth at an early age followed her well into adulthood, and even though Eva was a proud, devoted mom, she wanted to do something special that would make a positive difference in children’s lives. “I had four biological boys and when they went to school, I knew my kids needed me to be at home. My husband recommended that we foster so that I’d have something important to do with my time and be home with the kids. It’s a calling and it fills your heart. It gave me a purpose,” Eva explained.
When asked what advice she’d give to potential foster parents, Eva said, “You can’t judge the child’s parents. Don’t see them as being bad or that they shouldn’t get their kids back. Have a tender heart to work with them and be gracious to them. We help families, not just kids. You have to have an open mind.”
Check our blog to read more exciting foster and adoptive parent stories. To start your foster care journey, call Trinity Youth Services at 888-346-9645.
Eve Powers, Foster Care Marketing Specialist
Eve has a strong commitment to helping foster youth and their families thrive and live successful lives. A former foster youth, Eve obtained her bachelor’s and master’s degree in Communications from California State University, San Bernardino, and is a certified Holistic Life Coach, motivational writer, self-help author and celebrity interviewer. Beyond the Trinity Youth Services blog, Eve’s articles can be found in numerous platforms including Foster Focus Magazine, Heart & Soul Magazine, BET Centric and Huffington Post. A passionate advocate for the LGBTQ community, Eve continues to educate, support and mentor foster youth throughout Southern California.
It’s National Foster Care Month, a special time to show our supreme gratitude to our foster parents who go above and beyond to positively impact the lives of displaced youth. At Trinity Youth Services, we want to recognize our exceptional parents for their dedication, time and love they provide to our youth on a daily basis. Your support will help children thrive in ways they have never experienced.
We value you from the bottom of our hearts, because you help us build healthier and stronger communities with each hug, each praise, and each time you give guidance and unconditional love. You are the reason our young people can grow up as confident, loving and successful adults.
You do so much more than just provide shelter for a child in need. You provide hope for a brighter future for children who have experienced the trauma of abuse, neglect or abandonment, who need the support of someone who genuinely cares. We commend you for having a heart big enough to love a child and provide them with stability and a safe place to call home. We are very proud of our Trinity families and will always be here to support you in doing what you do best, nurturing children who need it most.
We’ve partnered with the Children’s Foundation of America to provide each Trinity Youth Services family with board games and a Target gift card. We hope these gifts help bring your family together and make the next trip to the store just a little easier. Thank you for all you do!
Florence Edwards, Foster Care Marketing Specialist
Florence has a strong commitment to helping foster youth and their families thrive and live successful lives. A former foster youth, Florence obtained her bachelor’s and master’s degree in Communications from California State University, San Bernardino, and is a certified Holistic Life Coach, motivational writer, self-help author and celebrity interviewer. Beyond the Trinity Youth Services blog, Florence’s articles can be found in numerous platforms including Foster Focus Magazine, Heart & Soul Magazine, BET Centric and Huffington Post. A passionate advocate for the LGBTQ community, Florence continues to educate, support and mentor foster youth throughout Southern California.
Rosa’s unconditional love for children and passion for helping them succeed, led her to become a foster parent. Fostering since 2004, Rosa’s dream of caring for children in crisis has not always been easy. She has helped raise several children for over a decade, but the rewards have far surpassed the challenges she has faced on her journey.
According to Rosa, “Seeing the change in the kids, teaching them respect, and seeing the difference it makes, makes us feel good. I currently have three girls and one boy, but I’ve had over 180 children. They come from broken homes, but we give them stability. Having a lot of love, understanding and patience is important. The kids change when they see you work with them.”
Raising abused, neglected and abandoned children and teaching them to become empowered, resilient and successful is Rosa’s mission. Juggling a busy schedule, Rosa takes time to not only provide children with love and support, but also helps them thrive scholastically. According to Rosa, “Most of my kids get recognized in school. One child, who we thought had a learning disability, didn’t know how to read. We helped him learn how to read and do math problems, and he received an award. When you want to [help], there is always a way.”
Since his retirement, Rosa’s husband has taken an active role in helping her care for the children. Happy to help make a difference in the lives of children and their families, Rosa plans to continue to open her home to children who need it most. She especially feels a sense of accomplishment when children go back with their families.
“It’s good to see parents do what they need to do so that the child goes back to them. It’s all about reunification. It’s all about loving the kids and wanting to help them,” Rosa says.
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Florence Edwards, Foster Care Marketing Specialist
Florence has a strong commitment to helping foster youth and their families thrive and live successful lives. A former foster youth, Florence obtained her bachelor’s and master’s degree in Communications from California State University, San Bernardino, and is a certified Holistic Life Coach, motivational writer, self-help author and celebrity interviewer. Beyond the Trinity Youth Services blog, Florence’s articles can be found in numerous platforms including Foster Focus Magazine, Heart & Soul Magazine, BET Centric and Huffington Post. A passionate advocate for the LGBTQ community, Florence continues to educate, support and mentor foster youth throughout Southern California. Email: fedwards@trinityys.org | Phone: 888.346-9645
