Like so many foster youth, 15-year-old Gabby was in multiple foster homes, and had a challenge with trusting adults, until she met her newest foster mom, Melinda Wood. Melinda, a single empty nester, decided to foster Gabby because she had a lot of love left in her heart and personal time after successfully raising her biological son.
According to Melinda, “What made me decide to become a foster parent was an empty nest. I only have one biological child and he graduated college, got a career, and moved out to Orange County. I still see him every Sunday, but he left me with a lot of alone time.”
After learning about Trinity Youth Services, Melinda decided to choose the agency because she felt that she would get the help she needed to succeed. “I wanted an agency that would advocate for me. This was my first time doing anything like this and I wanted as much support as I could get. Trinity provided that for me. I wanted to adopt and felt fostering and getting to know a child that needed me as much as I needed him/her was the best way to go about it. I did not feel that I would have the energy to keep up with an infant, so I decided on an older child. Trinity’s staff worked tirelessly at helping me find my forever girl. I started fostering in my home 13 months ago. I have to tell you that we were both really excited when the court date came. It took a while to bond with her in the beginning. We actually met during the pandemic by Zoom of all things. We did these Zoom meetings for about 10 minutes every other day. Then she came for an ‘extended visit,'” explains Melinda.
“This meant that she could visit for as long as she wanted and stay if she wanted. They didn’t want her going back and forth during the pandemic for obvious reasons. She had been in multiple foster homes and one group home over her time in foster care, so she wasn’t very trusting and that is why it took so long to bond. I really don’t think it was real in her mind until the court date. In the beginning, I was nervous, but after about two weeks together, I started to relax,” says Melinda.
At Trinity Youth Services, we strive to make the adoption process as smooth as possible for our parents by providing 24-7 support and guidance. According to Melinda, “My assigned case worker from Trinity at the time was Roomina. I was on the phone with her as well as email several times a day for the first two weeks. She was always very thoughtful and supportive as well as being my advocate when I ran into school issues. That is why I was able to relax and start being a mother to Gabby. After about 3 months, I knew I was going to keep Gabby and then it was just a matter of waiting for the court dates. That is why we were so excited when the big day finally came.”
Although Melinda wanted to adopt a child, the journey was not always easy. “One challenge Trinity helped me overcome, was fear of the unknown child that I would get since I was new. They promised to support me 24/7, and they did that,” says Melinda. During her fostering journey, Melinda learned how to balance being a mom while learning the rules of fostering.
According to Melinda, “The most important lesson was to handle the child as if they were your own most of the time. I got way too caught up in what I can and can’t do with all the restrictions and rules, that I forgot to be a mother instead of a court appointed babysitter. Once I let go of all the worrying about what I can and can’t do, that is when Gabby and I truly started to jell. This was around the third month when I finally in my heart made the commitment that I was adopting Gabby.”
Being a mom to Gabby has been a rewarding experience for Melinda, who strives to equip her daughter and son with knowledge and skills that will help them succeed in their daily lives. “The most rewarding part of being an adoptive mom is that I don’t have an empty nest and I have someone I can give all my love and affection to every day that appreciates it,” says Melinda.
“Some life skills I teach my children are that life is not always easy. You are constantly on a journey of ups and downs. Take the ups and cherish them when they come around. Take the downs and learn from them. You are never too old to learn and the more you learn, the stronger you become every time you hit those downs. I also teach them that life is crazy, and you have to be crazy with it. Try and laugh at least a couple of times a day. Try and see the ‘funny’ in everything.”
As a foster-turned-adoptive mom, Melinda feels grateful to be able to provide unconditional love and support to her daughter, who has also been a blessing in her life. “I have had a special impact on this young lady, and she has had a special impact on me. To be honest, with her disabilities, I would fear for her life after she aged out of foster care. Even with the additional support provided until they are 21, she would not have made it. She needs a family who will support her all of her life and I don’t ever want an empty nest, so I am privileged she chose me back to provide this for her.”
Some people who consider fostering or adopting, often fear experiencing challenging behaviors, but Melinda shares a more positive perspective. According to Melinda, “Every child is different and has different behaviors. This is including biological children. I know several biological children who have worse behaviors than my Gabby. Once you learn how your child tics, you adapt and learn the different things that work to deter negative behaviors. To be honest, biological children have a sense of entitlement and don’t always appreciate what parents do for them. Gabby appreciates everything I do for her including the little things because she didn’t have these things before. When she first came to stay, I think she was so terrified I would send her back that she was too well behaved. She wanted to do everything for me instead of being the child she is. Roomina at Trinity helped me help her to relax and just be a kid.”
For those who want to foster, but are concerned about the possibility of their children being reunited with their biological parents, Melinda shares this advice: “I had that fear, especially since I was doing this specifically to adopt. If you want to adopt, have Trinity work on finding you a foster child that has a good chance of adoption right out of the gate. You might still lose the child to their parents and it would be hard, but you have to keep trying until God tells you this is the one for you. Meanwhile, you gave a child who needed it at least temporarily, a roof over their head, food for their hungry tummies, and the support and love they needed at a really hard time in their life. After the pain of losing them subsides, you will be able to look back with nice thoughts that you did something good for someone else during your journey to find your forever family.”
If you want to foster or adopt a child, and would like more information on how to become certified at Trinity Youth Services, please call 310-291-3889. You can also click here to start your journey online.
Eve Powers, Foster Care Marketing Specialist
Eve has a strong commitment to helping foster youth and their families thrive and live successful lives. A former foster youth, Eve obtained her bachelor’s and master’s degree in Communications from California State University, San Bernardino, and is a certified Holistic Life Coach, motivational writer, self-help author and celebrity interviewer. Beyond the Trinity Youth Services blog, Eve’s articles can be found in numerous platforms including Foster Focus Magazine, Heart & Soul Magazine, BET Centric and Huffington Post. A passionate advocate for the LGBTQ community, Eve continues to educate, support and mentor foster youth throughout Southern California.
Being a foster parent has so many great rewards, such as knowing that you’re making a difference in a child’s life as well as seeing that child grow into a thriving, happier youth. Trinity Youth Services’ Intensive Services Foster Care (ISFC) Program is comprised of at-risk youth who need extra support services to effectively cope with trauma, so that they can engage in positive behaviors, and receive the mental health services that they need in a loving, home-based environment.
One of our foster parent heroes is Charlene Mitchell, a devoted parent in our ISFC Program whose passion is helping children. Charlene chose Trinity Youth Services as her Foster Care Agency after someone she knew referred her. According to Charlene, “I chose Trinity because someone highly recommended the agency to me. After I checked them out, I believed in them as well.”
Charlene is currently raising four youth, ages 15, 17, 18, and 19, and has been a foster parent for close to 20 years, and a certified ISFC parent for four years. Fostering children has helped Charlene find a new purpose in life.
“The reason why I decided to become a foster parent is because I have empty nest syndrome. My children are all adults now, and most have left the nest. Therefore, I would be a pretty lonesome person without being a foster parent. I enjoy working with children, so this gives me an opportunity after retirement age to continue to be a productive citizen and give back to the community,” says Charlene.
Charlene’s advice about successfully raising foster children includes giving them your time. According to Charlene, “A key to my success working with foster children is that I give them one-on-one time. This helps us to bond which is important, because if you’re not bonded to the children, you don’t get as much of a favorable response.”
Of her four foster children, two receive ISFC services. Describing her day-to-day experience, Charlene states, “Each child is unique, so no days are typical. Subsequently, you will experience having to be available for numerous services for your ISFCs. Time may be one of the biggest challenges of all,” she says. “The challenges that I receive with all four of my children are typically social, emotional and developmental concerns. Foster parents have to implement the educational skills they received during their foster parent training. Nonetheless, there is no one set formula for facilitating foster children to work through their issues.
“I have a big home, and all my children have their own rooms. This helps the children to adjust, due to having their own space and down time. As a matter of fact, the space allows me to have my own downtime as well. Many foster parents need this debriefing time and recovery,” says Charlene.
Giving children time to adjust, giving them their own space, as well as taking time for yourself as a foster parent, are three ways that you can care for the children in your home.
As an ISFC Resource Parent, you are truly making a difference in the lives of our future leaders. Teens need guidance, love and support from caring adults who can see their potential, and invest in their futures.
If you’re considering opening your home to a teen, and are passionate about give a youth a better future, consider signing up for a Foster Parent Orientation. Please call 310-291-3889, or click here to start the process right now!
Eve Powers, Foster Care Marketing Specialist
Eve has a strong commitment to helping foster youth and their families thrive and live successful lives. A former foster youth, Eve obtained her bachelor’s and master’s degree in Communications from California State University, San Bernardino, and is a certified Holistic Life Coach, motivational writer, self-help author and celebrity interviewer. Beyond the Trinity Youth Services blog, Eve’s articles can be found in numerous platforms including Foster Focus Magazine, Heart & Soul Magazine, BET Centric and Huffington Post. A passionate advocate for the LGBTQ community, Eve continues to educate, support and mentor foster youth throughout Southern California.
For National Foster Care Month, Trinity Youth Services recognizes our foster parents and their extraordinary children. Foster youth often excel when they are in loving homes and have parents who support and encourage them to be their very best.
Dianne Broussard, a Trinity Youth Services foster parent of three, has been helping her children excel academically, while teaching them other essential qualities that will help them become successful in life. The children she currently cares for in her home are ages 10, 6, and 14. She chose Trinity Youth Services as her Foster Care and Adoptions Agency because “the people who work there are very informing and a pleasure to work with.”
Dianne began her foster care parenting journey in 2000. She eventually adopted three kids; one boy at the age of 2, and two girls ages 7 and 8 years–old. After her 3rd adoption, Dianne took a short break from fostering, but has since opened her home again.
Since she started caring for youth, she has taught her children some valuable life lessons. According to Dianne, “Some skills that I teach in my home are: respect others with kindness, tell the truth, believe in yourself, as well as problem solving and communication skills.”
Passionate about helping youth beat the odds and have a better future, Dianne is a believer in giving her children the tools they need to succeed. Her dedication to their success is paying off, as her two children were recently awarded Student of the Month Awards.
The secret to Dianne’s accomplishment is showing up 100% for her children. According to Dianne, “I encourage the kids to participate in class. I’m also there to help them when they need help, and I reach out to the teachers if needed, for support. I also have them stay focused and ignore any distractions. I let my children know that they can do anything if they put their minds to it.”
There are many rewards to being a foster parent, and to Dianne, some of the things she loves most is, “helping a child in need, and helping them get back to their families. I also like to see the smiles on their faces after they have achieved something.”
If you’ve been thinking of fostering, but feel afraid because of the unknown, Dianne offers this advice: “There is no reason to be afraid because there is so much support for the foster parent through the agency. They will give you guidance and answer any questions or concerns you may have. If you have love, you can do it.”
If you want to learn more about becoming a foster or adoptive parent, please schedule a virtual Foster Care Orientation, by calling 909-825-5588 Ext. 230, or by sending an email to epowers@TrinityYS.org.
Eve Powers, Foster Care Marketing Specialist
Eve has a strong commitment to helping foster youth and their families thrive and live successful lives. A former foster youth, Eve obtained her bachelor’s and master’s degree in Communications from California State University, San Bernardino, and is a certified Holistic Life Coach, motivational writer, self-help author and celebrity interviewer. Beyond the Trinity Youth Services blog, Eve’s articles can be found in numerous platforms including Foster Focus Magazine, Heart & Soul Magazine, BET Centric and Huffington Post. A passionate advocate for the LGBTQ community, Eve continues to educate, support and mentor foster youth throughout Southern California.
